I’m actually feeling the “mundane-ness” today that I wrote of fearing just yesterday. It’s just one of those days that feels uninspired. And I get that what I believe IN is not about what I feel – thank God for that – if it were, Truth would ebb and flow with my every whim and worry. But part of the problem with the mundane is that a moment of it can sometimes stretch and paw and spread itself out until it settles in as it’s own season in my life. And when I begin to lose sight of the absolute revelation of – and freedom of – the gospel of Jesus, my focus tends to fall on my failings and my sin. I suppose, as I wrote in my Annie Dillard blog (1/27/10), I am being dragged through this “low place” and my only necessity is to hang on, to stay fixed and clinched to the Thing that’s dragging me. Lord Jesus, let me not attempt to figure a way out of this, but simply to hold onto and seek after you. Let my struggle not be against the sin and un-inspiration that entangle me, but for a fast and strong grip to the Animal that can pull me out of it. Lord Jesus, I have not been holding fast to you. That’s all I really want – to hold fast and to fix my eyes on you. That is the good fight – to fight for you, not against sin. The moment my focus is on the sin, even in my efforts to fight against it, the sin has won. It has won because it has succeeded in turning my focus from my God. I don’t want to climb up through guilt toward righteousness; I want to fall down through grace into righteousness. Yet again, it’s all about perspective. Do I focus on sin and the guilt that always follows, or do I focus on Truth and the grace that comes with it? Jesus said, “Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that I, the Son of Man, can give you….This is what God wants you to do: believe in the one he has sent (John 6:27,29).” There is a reason why commands to turn from sin always seem to be prefaced by commands to simply believe and follow. In turning toward Truth, we are unavoidably turning away from sin. We cannot face both at the once.
So maybe God is never plainly calling us to fight against anything at all, but only to fight for things. Maybe we’re not to fight against lusts and injustices and the evils of this world, but rather to fight for purity and justice and the Savior of this world. I guess it’s a fairly subtle difference in perspective. But it seems that subtle difference may be all the difference. To be motivated by grace toward righteousness. That is my prayer today, Lord Jesus. You are good.